In our mechanistic world, grief, like all uncomfortable emotions, is seen as something that should be either got through as fast as possible or pushed away at all costs.To this end, people often go to extraordinary lengths to suppress ‘negative’ emotions such as anger, fear and grief while chasing the ‘positive’ ones of happiness and contentment.When it comes to emotion, the medium really is the message.
It was an extremely long and tough process and one which I undertook the hard way because there was simply no one who could help me when I was 13-years-old and was forced to bring myself up.
So I understand why someone would want to ‘get over’ the intense pain of grief, but I don’t believe it is the wisest course of action.
They are seen as mere messages sent from the brain to the conscious mind.
This leads to the mistaken belief that you can become blissfully happy by simply suppressing the bad and chasing the good. They are flexible entities that are both message and messenger sent from the deepest reaches of the psyche.
***** From time to time remind yourself that the price of life is death.
That single sentence sums up the human condition more than any other.***** When you feel grief arising, try not to fight it. The aim of the Breathing Meditation is not to grieve but to ground you in the present moment and to see how all thoughts, feelings and emotions rise and fall.Later, if you wish, you might like to try the course in the bestselling book I wrote with Professor Mark Williams of Oxford University: are a good starting point too.Kim left behind two children, barely ten and twelve at the time, whilst Matt was left with the daily struggle to care for his two children alone.Matt was incredibly stoic about his family’s loss and talked about how grief had affected him and his young family. I can feel a yawning chasm in my life where my mother once stood.***** Feel free to be as gregarious as you like or to be alone as much as you want.