I’ve been doing the whole online dating thing on and off for years now and let me just say, I’ve had the entire range of good, bad and ugly messages arrive in my inbox.
There was a time I even created a blog to showcase some of the best of the worst because I felt the world should share in the horror with me.
Thus making an introduction easier and far less intimidating.
Here’s a new article which I wrote as a special to Yahoo! And while I never write emails for others, the request makes perfect sense.
———————————————————— Of all the things that clients (especially men) ask me to help them with, the most common query involves assistance with writing introductory emails.
Your ideas will be formed using perspectives, arguments, research, data etc.
from your reading, and you must acknowledge this by using referencing.
The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.
When it comes to sending messages many people freak out.
They want to say online dating sites give you profiles to work with.
Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.
Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.
Here’s the deal with the messaging thing, a lot of people have their own theories on how it works, what works best, etc. Others try pick-up-artist “negging.” Some send ridiculously long messages about their background and their overall philosophy and what they’re currently doing with their lives.