If you’re not a major celebrity, this is not a problem you have, I promise.
Description: A public posting from one person to another that has no good reason to be public.
Even if that’s the case, the only people it’s okay to brag to in life are your close friends, significant other, and family members—and that’s what email, texting, phone calls, and live talking are for.
Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re just excited and need to brag to someone.
Examples: Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting, Jealousy Inducing On one hand, these people are at least self-aware enough to cloak their brag in something.
This includes all humblebrags, indirect brags, brags disguised as a rant, etc.
Somewhere in the middle would be you calculatingly crafting your words as part of an unendearing and transparent campaign to make people see you in a certain way.
Facebook is infested with these five motivations—other than a few really saintly people, most people I know, myself certainly included, are guilty of at least some of this nonsense here and there. To lay out the most common types of offenses: Bragging is such a staple of unfortunate Facebook behavior, it needs to be broken into three subsections: Description: A post making your life sound great, either in a macro sense (got your dream job, got your degree, love your new apartment) or a micro sense (taking off on an amazing trip, huge weekend coming up, heading out on a fun night with friends, just had an amazing day) Examples: Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting (I’m successful; I’m happy; I have a great social life), Jealousy Inducing So at best, you’re just really excited about your life and you need to tell everyone, and at worst you’re specifically hoping to make people feel worse about their lives and jealous of yours.
I got to hang with Owen Wilson, and worked with Will Ferrell on an amazing project. The fact is, there’s no excuse for it, because if you feel the need to plaster your relationship all over Facebook, there are plenty of socially acceptable ways to do so—go nuts with couple profile photos, and enjoy three separate moments of like button and comment applause when you change your status to “in a relationship,” “engaged,” and “married.” Description: A post that makes it clear that something good or bad is happening in your life without disclosing any details. At some point between leaving work and arriving at the gym, you had an impulse to take out your phone and type this status. A lot of annoying statuses fall far from red territory, but they all serve the author in some way, which is why they’re posted.
The one very funny possibility when it’s a guy posting is that either he’s in trouble for something or that his girlfriend’s friend’s boyfriend pulled some shit like this at some point and his girlfriend has now been 10% mad at him ever since it happened, so he finally has to just bite the bullet. We’re talking about serious blue territory here, which means that even your mom doesn’t give a shit.
It comes down to a pretty simple rule: To examine this a bit, let’s start by discussing the defining characteristics of statuses that are not annoying.